So this is how it all started…

That’s right: the stinkeye. It’s not the first stinkeye I’ve ever received, and I know for damned sure it’s not the last either. But Em gave me a good one.

The stinkeye can intimidate a photographer; it can upset a mother even more. It can give the appearance that we’re off to a bad start. But on the contrary; this is a child’s way of showing you that you, basically, are not the boss of her.

I love that. I love a child who’s not afraid to let you know that just because you’ve got at least three feet and a few decades on her doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve got the upper hand.

Ok, message received loud & clear. But few Hershey kisses later, some time exploring the house; picking things up and putting them down, running away from Mom when she tries to corral you, and you pretty much settle down and start to inch toward that little spot where you’re supposed to sit.

But sometimes, you have a few more bits of that unpredictable, bumblebee energy you need to get out of your system. Well played, Em. .

I’ve blogged about this before, the fact that many parents don’t get their kids photographed by professionals because they’re simply afraid that their kids won’t “behave.” The won’t “do as they’re told.” But listen up: Nobody’s kids behave. Nobody’s kids do exactly as they’re told. And nobody’s kids will walk in, sit right down where they’re supposed to, smile at the camera and say cheese. In fact, I think I’d find it pretty unsettling (and disappointing) if a child did do that. It would mean, to me, that we might as well pack up and move everything over to JC Penny’s, because that’s exactly the kind of session we’re headed for.

Ashton (Em’s brother), on the other hand, behaved just enough to  make things easier, but not too much that it creeped me out. I give this credit to their mom, who’s so awesomely in tune with her kids that she knows when they’re being little shits and when they’re just being kids. It takes a good mom to know the difference, and believe me, you should watch the ones who do know the difference; take their cues from her and leave your ego at the door.

Em & Ashton’s awesome mom is Eva. She’s my hair stylist and she rides a vespa and dresses her kids in crazy cool vintage clothes and she lets them be exactly what they are. Kids.

So once Em made her point, we worked around her extreme aversion to being bossed and we ended up with an awesome session. This is due, also in large part, to her big brother, Ashton. A terribly sweet kid, all boy but so gentle and loving with his baby sis. The kind of big brother all us girls wish we’d had when we were little.

I mean, if you think about it, I played a very small role in this shoot; I basically pressed the shutter and caught them doing their everyday thing. And I love being 2nd or 3nd banana; I love to just let things happen and photograph it. That way, Eva comes away with more than just photos of her kids; she comes away with an amazingly wonderful shared experience, and a view of her kids that she thought nobody else saw but her. As the mother of a girl who was once a little toddler who took shit from nobody and had perfected the stinkeye by two, I can say that that’s a pretty awesome thing to get.

Eva, you rock. Your kids are natural, genuine and honest in their little childhood beings. I know that you’re proud of them, and you should be proud of yourself as well. So here are some more of your darling family (well, part of it anyway); I hope that as they grow older and put you through the wringer (and believe me, they will) and make you want to tear your hair out, you’ll be able to look back on these photos and think to yourself: “I did a good job, dammit, and my kids will be ok.”